Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept my humble obeisances at your lotus feet.
namah om vishu padaya Krsna prestaya bhutale Srimate Bhaktivedanta swamin iti namine namaste sarawati deve Gaura vani pracharine nirvishesha shunyavaadi paschatya desha taarine
Srila Prabhupada, every year as I write the Vyas Puja offering I cannot but just keep thanking you again and again for the mercy you shower on us. It is only that which keeps me going.
During a discussion one of your disciples HG Yogeswara prabhu asked a question, “Prabhupada, suppose there are two people equally qualified for devotional service, but one becomes a devotee and other does not. What makes the difference?”, you replied “don’t try to find some formula for causeless mercy it’s causeless ultimately it’s up to the mercy giver.”
Srila Prabhupada, you simply exhibit the qualities of a Jagadguru, just like how Sri ramanujacharya announced from the top of the temple, the secret Mantra that was given by his Guru to go back to Godhead.
You never asked anyone to fill up any questionnaire for go through some kind of test to be a part of the movement or to initiate. About the young westerners who would come for your shelter, you firmly believed that they have been mercifully sent by your Guru maharaja to assist in your service to Guru and Krsna. Being a Jagadguru this was your humility. You were simply a mercy giver like Prahlad Maharaj.
If I look back at my life, everything was so complicated. Even basic maturity was lacking in me, practicing devotional life was a far cry. I did not know how to think, how to act, how to behave, how to respond to others, how to respond to relations, how to respond to situations, I was such a dumb person. I did not know how to think about myself about this life. There was never a time I felt even negligible amount of confidence in what I was doing. And then there is a part of life where I’ve been associated with your moment and I can clearly see my life before and after. The more I practice your instructions the more there is clarity in my thoughts like never before. The point being, was I ever qualified for it? No never, neither am i now!
Srila Prabhupada, due to my faith in Guru and Krsna, which is work in progress, I do not know if I will go back to godhead in this lifetime but one thing is absolutely clear that I am on the right track.
Your disciple HG Pushkar Prabhu who was an artist, who painted several murals in many temples in ISKCON. While prabhu was painting a door on the second floor in Mayapur with the scene of Krishna Balram jumping off a big mountain, you happen to walk by and you asked how long has this taken him. Prabhu, being humble and feeling overly conscious, replied “it taken a week and I am very slow”. To that you replied “slowly but surely” and kept walking very cool and relaxed. Another instance, you looked at his paintings and remarked “you are expert you should simply paint the disciplic succession and you will go back to godhead”. You made it look so simple, the process of going back to Godhead. I clearly see that you were pleased by his sincerity in service, dedication and faith which I lack. I beg of you, kindly bless upon me that i lose my duplicity and become an obedient servant to the Vaishnavas without which it would take me many many lifetimes even to desire of Going back to Godhead. However it is only your causeless mercy that i’m totally relying upon.
Your aspiring servant
vijaya nrsimha das